


From the boy you were meant to be with

by royalprincessbon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Love Letters, M/M, Over the Years, Reminiscing, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalprincessbon/pseuds/royalprincessbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cute story about two adorable dorks who may or may not be in love with the other, yet their feelings never get through. Or do they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the boy you were meant to be with

**Author's Note:**

> "From the boy you were meant to be with" is what I thought about a really sad fanfiction where Jean liked Eren and it was quite mutual too, yet they never got together... I wrote this after crying a bit and complaining about how life could be so cruel towards them. I hope you like it! 
> 
> I'm sorry for giving you any feels you may not be comfortable/happy to feel.

_'Hello sweetheart, how is life?_

_"I'm doing fine, even though you're not here with me." is what I've told myself ever since that day. Since the day when I first saw you, when I laid my eyes upon you for the very first time. Since that we've met many times. By accident is what you may believe, but to be honest I always sought you out. I walked all over campus to 'accidentally' meet you, always hoping that she wasn't there with you. Yet every time she was. It was her special privilege to walk there next to you, to be there right by your side. Always holding a place in your heart, the only place I wasn't allowed to be in._

_Do you remember that time? The time when we first met up and she wasn't there. I do! I remember the date, even the weather. It was a thursday in May, a sunny afternoon. We went to the park together, remember? I remember how it smelled like spring, how the air was filled with birdsong and kids laughter. I remember those pink flowers, and the colour of your cheeks as I teased you about her. "Come on, tell me. How far have you guys gone?" I said and suddenly you stopped laughing instead you hit me, tears in your eyes. It was as if I had said something taboo. And it seems like I did, yet it wasn't until years later that I figured it out. I probably wouldn't have done it at all if it wasn't for that nice lady friend of yours. If it wasn't for the young girl that I always had thought of as my rival, the lady whose place in your heart I couldn't take._

_I always believed that you hated me after that. Maybe that you'd always hated me. After all, you never looked in the eyes. Not a single time during the years that we knew each other did you look me in the eyes. I've always wondered why. Why didn't you look at me the same way you looked at your other friends? Was it because I was hated, because you never even once considered me your friend?_

_I've never said this to anyone but your sister, I finally know why she was so irreplaceable. But to be honest you had me at hello. Right from the beginning when I first saw you I fell in love. Love at first sight is what they call it right? It was a first for me, being in love. Being in love with you, another man. Not even once had I strayed towards that path while I grew up, not until I met you. I don't even know why I liked you, why I still like you because you were never a likeable person. Yet it just happened. We fought often, as friends or as rivals. Everyone around us seemed to think that I was all for your dear sister and you hated it. You hated the thought of me being with her because she was yours, is what I thought while not knowing about your real relationship. Not knowing that you were siblings._

_After talking to her I learnt many new things about you. So many new things that you never said or showed anyone. For example I got to hear about your childhood and about that homeless cat you secretly took home in high school after finding it in a cardboard box at the corner of your house. Nelly was its name wasn't it? Your sister showed me some pictures, she's cute that little kitty cat._

_Did you know that I acted the way I did to get you to notice me? Because you never seemed to notice me standing there next to all of your other friends. It felt like you noticed me even less when you didn't look at me, almost never spoke to me. But did you know that I once caught you in the act, staring at my while I wasn't looking your way. Lately I've been wondering did you feel that way before our meeting at the park? Or did it begin after? You know, I might seem rough and like a bad guy but deep inside I'm hiding what I really think. Hiding how I really feel._

_Even so it doesn't matter anymore since I blew my chances of ever being with you that day. Even so I wanted to tell you one last time, or is it the first time... Anyway, I love you. That's what I wanted to say, this time at least while I still have the chance to confess everything. The chance to come clean before it all ends._

_Sincerely Jean.'_

A muffled cry exited the brunettes throat as he read the letter, from happiness yet also from regret. Oh how he regretted avoiding his gaze that time, how he regretted it. He regretted everything because he now knew that things could have been different. It could have been him standing there next to him, not that other male friend of theirs. If it had been him, he could have given his friend everything, he would have given his whole being just to be with him. To stand by his side through sadness and pain, happiness and fortune. Yet he wasn't. The man sighed, he sighed and sat down in a comfy chair placed in the middle of the empty room. He leaned forward and hid his face behind his supporting hands. The tears were burning through his eyelids, threatening to seep through his closely shut eyes.

Oh the regret, the pain the suffering. All the emotions he had harbored for the author of this letter raged through his mind. The love, the jealousy, **everything!** Just because of one simple letter talking about the past. Their pasts. Of course he remembered their first  date, because in his mind it was one. He didn't bring his sister because it was going to be the two of them. Only them. Yet he dared to bring her up, asking things about their relationship as if they where the ones dating! Okay so maybe no one was dating anyone. But to even imply that he would date his sister? That's just bananas! The rage and disgust he felt from even thinking about it. He always thought he would never forgive it, but what if... what if that was Jean's way of acting like a friend when he wanted so much more than that... He had never thought of it that way, but even so it was hard to forget the pain he felt that day. A need to convey it to the person on the other side of that letter arose and he quickly grabbed a piece of paper.

_'Good day mr heartbreaker~_

_I'm doing fine now a days, things are finally getting a little easier to deal with. You know, stuff like having people believe that your sister is your lover is some hard stuff to take in. Especially if some of those happens to be someone very special. But it gets easier as the time goes by, it doesn't even matter what people think anymore. It's not as if someone would bother with me anyway, as you said I'm not a very likable person to begin with. I still get along well with my dear sister and Armin though. You know the blonde who always hanged out with us? He's still my very best friend and the only one expect my sister I ever talked to about you._

_College huh, those where the days! I remember when you first joined our study group. "Finally some peace and quiet" I thought but then this person who would become such a pain in the ass came in through the door! To be honest I didn't like you at all in the beginning, yet you caught my interest somehow. Oh how I hated that handsome face of yours, especially the look on your face. Heh you looked like you would burst in your pants after seeing my sister, or was it really my sister that caught your eyes? After I read your letter I figured that wasn't the case. It was me you were looking at, wasn't it? I was the one who made you look like that, who made you feel that way. I'm sorry for not realising earlier._

_I never hated you though. Disliked you a lot, yes. Felt betrayed, even more. But not even once did I feel like I hated you. I may have avoided you, not sure how to face you after that incident. Because you know, I thought that you would look down on me for crying. I mean, men should not cry right...? None of my other so called friends ever got as close to me as you did, not that you may have noticed it yourself. Maybe that's why I was ashamed for crying, for lashing out on you when you did not know better. Once again I must apologize because I did not mean for you to feel that way, or maybe I did. I do not know any longer._

_Ah, cute little Nelly! So Mikasa told you about her. Adorable right? She had kittens again last week actually, four little blind things crawling around in the room. One of them, a boy, reminds me of you sometimes so I decided to name him "Horseface" after you. Well, it's a great nickname at least. His real name is Titan. The rest of them are girls and all of them look exactly like their mother._

_Haha, you saw that? How embarrassing huh! But I have to admit, I may have stolen a peek more than just that one time... At first I just wanted to make sure you didn't hit on my sister, but after a while my gaze got pulled towards you without me even noticing. I could watch you for hours and hours, always ready to pull away if you ever noticed. But you never did. I started thinking about you and before I knew it I was caught. I think what made me realise was when we all went out for some drinks and you practically seduced me. Not that you remembered anything afterwards, you drunk bastard. That hurt my pride as a man. Soon afterwards we met up in the park and you started going on about Mikasa. I wanted to kicks your brains out! The problem was you didn't even remember about our little make out session, damn I was so pissed at you. I wanted to hate you so much but the more I tried, the more I hurt myself inside._

_So you love me. Are you sure you're not drunk again? Will you actually remember confessing this time, because last time was such a pain in the ass. Even so, when someone confesses an honest answer is always required. I am happy that you feel that way for me. I've also liked you for a very long time now. Let's see, six years I think. I've not dated anyone since college, secretly I've waited for you to say something again. I'm so happy you finally did! I love you, I really do!_

_Yours truly, Eren'_

* * *

 

He carefully read the letter, word by word. Letting the first honest words from his lover sink in once more. Even after all these years the letter still had the same effect on him. Even years after his lover's death. The former blonde smiled and tears formed in his brown eyes. He felt so fragile, so alone. But he knew that he had lived a great life together with the love of his life. Some times may have been rough, but at least they had had someone to rely on. At least they had had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still sad, to be honest I made myself sad while working with this. But even so it's a happy ending, right? At least I think so, but I may be wrong. Also I want to thank you for reading this, it means a lot! And please review! Because who doesn't like to read about what the reader think about the story. It always makes my day when I find out that I managed to get the feeling I was aiming for through to the reader


End file.
